


Hurt

by Yoan_Amara



Series: Love Song Series [29]
Category: Akatsuki no Yona | Yona of the Dawn
Genre: Bittersweet, F/M, Family Feels, Fluff, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Losing, dream - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-04-29
Packaged: 2020-02-09 21:45:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18646702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoan_Amara/pseuds/Yoan_Amara
Summary: Their first winter outside the Hiryuu Castle make Yona remember of her regret towards her father and Hak is trying to comfort her when the first time she tells him.





	Hurt

Yun can tell something’s off with her since she looks moping over something. When Yona takes a bath with Zeno watching her, Yun gathers the Thunder Beast and three other Dragons.

"Yona looks down but knowing her, she only smiled and said everything’s alright so I make her favorite chicken soup for the breakfast".

Hak and the other Dragons nod their head, saying in unison "thank you, mother".

Yun shouts, pointing his ladder to them "and don't call me mother?!".

"well, if something upset her…", Jae Ha rolls his eyes, narrowing his eyes to the Thunder Beast "do you have a fight with her?".

"of course not, and what make you think like that?".

Kija seems dubious "well, since the princess could become so easily upset or gloomy over about something related with you…".

"don't talk as if I always make her gloomy, White Snake".

"now, now, then what else? you couldn't blame Kija because remember when Yona Dear thought you have a fiancée? she looked upset about it and become gloomy same as you when you thought she didn't need you anymore. The presences of you two as love-birds stir up each other’s heart without you even know it", after pointing his forefinger to Hak's side, suddenly Jae Ha covers his mouth and his body’s shaking "ah, sorry… but remembered how you have confessed your feeling that way…".

When Hak locks Jae Ha's head on his arm, Yun scratches his jaw "hm… fine, if not because of the romance, then what?".

"Zeno thinks it was something that only Mister could ask about to the little Miss".

All of them are surprised when Zeno appears behind them out of nowhere. After Hak asking him where Yona is, Zeno tells them that Yona is practicing her bow "Zeno could tell the Miss looks feeling down and when Zeno asked her, the Miss only smiled and told Zeno everything was fine, she only had a nightmare last night".

Everyone turns into silence before Yun broke the silence "…Raijuu, switch the place with me tonight, I'll sleep with these Four Rare Beasts so you sleep with Yona tonight".

"eeeh?!".

"obviously, for comfort the princess", Kija nods his head in dismay before lifting his clenched claw "but don't blame us if we rush into your tent once we hear the princess’s screaming because you try to attack her".

Shina tilts his head, not too understand what Kija has meant "…attack? Like what?".

Feels irk of Jae Ha’s perverted smug smirk and Kija's warning, Hak stomps on Jae Ha's back because of the Green Dragon is laughing and smacking the ground before Hak yells back "I wouldn't attack her?!".

Jae Ha wipes his tears and swirling his bangs on his wrist "but of course, if Hak doesn't want to sleep by her side and comfort her, then I'll gladly…".

Hak and Kija throw their death glare while pointing their Tsu Quan Dao and Dragon Claw to Jae Ha, say in unison "you can't?!".

"can't about what?".

This time they (except Shina and Zeno who have realized it from the first place) are a bit taken aback by red-haired princess who just arrive at the campsite. She sits beside Hak after she takes her breakfast, a bowl of chicken soup from Yun "yay?! My favorite chicken soup?!".

Hak asks her after taking his own bowl of Yun's hand, whispering "are you alright? Yun and Zeno said you have a nightmare".

Yona stops her hand in the middle of her track to lift the spoon to her mouth "then… could you sleep with me tonight, Hak?".

Yona's statement make Kija, Jae Ha and Hak are choked the mouthful of chicken soup inside their mouth. After Hak drinks the fresh water Yun has offered, when Zeno and Shina have offered fresh water to Jae Ha and Kija, Hak touches her forehead with his palms "…you didn't have a fever".

"oh yes, of course I am!?".

Not long after that, Shina lifts his face "ah, the snow".

Even if it’s only for a mere second, Hak catches a glimpse of loneliness, longing and pain inside Yona's eyes. Hak knows only one thing that can make her expression become like that and he will ask her about it before they sleep.

Inside the tent, before Yona covers her body with her blanket, Hak hugs her from behind before settling her on his lap.

Yona blushes on Hak's sudden affection like always, looking up "…Hak?".

"princess... do you miss King Il?".

Yona hesitantly nods her head with the teary eyes. The first snow of the first winter outside the castle make her dreamng about her past, when her father make the awful chicken soup that can’t be compared to Yun's delicious chicken soup "I didn’t have a nightmare, instead it was such a beautiful dream… too beautiful, till it hurts and make me want to cry when I’m awake because the pain when I have woken up, become more hurt…".

Yona tells him what has been happened in her dream.

* * *

 _S_ _he saw her father crying at her 16th birthday party and he told her about how happy her father, how her father crying and told her how beautiful her as a woman at her birthday as she'd turned became a woman on marriageable age at her 16th birthday but all she thought back then only her messy hair. She remember_ _ed_ _how disobedient her as a child, to decide to keep pursuing Soo Won even if her father ha_ _d_ _banned_ _her_ _request. H_ _e always said 'no' to her relationship with Soo Won as lovers._

_If only she knew that day…_

_If only she had known that day would have been her father's last day._

_She wanted to take her father's pain away as she held him on her arms but in the end, all she'd felt only her father's lifeless body which got colder and colder. That night when she must have left her home where she'd been born and grown up, left her father and lost everything on one night. When she thought she ha_ _d_ _lost her hope to even live her life, that_ _wa_ _s when Hak hugging her and gave her a reason to stay alive. For the sake of her father, as 'thank you' for everything that her father gave to her_ _ever_ _since_ _the day_ _she was born_ _to this life_ _, she must stay alive and she could go everywhere to pay her father's love back._

_Since that night, all she did only grieve over her father's death and Soo Won's betrayal. She'd thought that she wouldn't forgive Soo Won but she was surprised because she couldn't raise a sword to him at Awa. She thought once more time, she might haven't able to forgive Soo Won, for what he did to her father and Hak, nothing he could do to make her forgive him like nothing she could do for her father anymore. She forgave her father's mistake that might have the major reason of causing Soo Won's action towards him that night but nothing she could do to her father that make her could heard his voice calling her name again. Sometimes, she really want_ _ed_ _to call him, she did on her dreams or when she'd felt as if his voice ringing on her head to not touch weapon. But she knew it was only the part of her daydreaming and he wouldn't be here by her side anymore._

_There was once time in her training at the midnight, Hak ha_ _d_ _approached her from behind to hug her until her sobs subsided because of remembering of her father's forbidden rules. How could she blame her father for everything she couldn't do since back then, like how her father forbade her to learn or touch weapon at the castle, as result she_ _beca_ _me weak and couldn't use weapon to protect Hak or even to defend herself when Hak barely fell off the cliff? She ha_ _d_ _calmed herself when she felt his hug, his warmth. Listening to his heartbeat helping to soothe her till her tears ha_ _d_ _subsided at that time after she was sobered to reality, her bodyguard, the man she loved now still there, he hadn't left her behind like her father._

_What she said to Lily about what she was thinking about after her father's death, about what she only could do was only grieving wasn't a lie. Even till now, there_ _wa_ _s still a time when she_ _felt_ _like she_ _would_ _break inside because of remembering of her father's death like that night when Hak hugged her and she regretted of her father's several last day moreover if she remembered, what she'd done only_ _argue_ _with her father or walking away from her father when he wanted to bring up about marriage and forbade her relationship with Soo Won. She always hid her sorrow in front of everyone, but with only a look, even if only a second, Hak ha_ _d_ _realized it. Sometimes she just want_ _ed_ _to hide it from Hak too, because the one she missed was his father but her bodyguard always_ _knew_ _how to handle her. She_ _really felt_ _grateful to him because if he knew the reason was her father that she missed her father and she cried sometimes because of it, Hak didn't say anything, he only_ _would_ _stay by her side and g_ _ive_ _his support on silence, he let her know that she_ _wasn’t being_ _left behind alone. Still, it was hard to say goodbye to her father._

_When it_ _came_ _to her father, she didn't talk that much to others and she barely ever talk_ _ed_ _about her father since her father's death in front of the others so openly_ _(_ _except in front of Lily and Hak_ _)_ _. Her heart felt like_ _being_ _slashed and crushed when insults or bad things came out of her people about how her father did as a King_ _, even thought it was the truth_ _. Her people's word cut straight on her heart like when she came to the poor village on the Fire Tribe territory. At that time, she_ _felt_ _grateful because at least, she knew Hak still put his loyalty to her father even if her father had failed to protect his Kingdoms. And one more time, she felt like hit by that word, that word came out of Yun and Soo Won that she didn't know anything._

_It occurred to her several time since then. If she wasn't so ignorant and selfish. If she cared about her kingdom and her people from the first place. If she helped her father protect their Kingdom with Soo Won and Hak by her side._

_Would her father let her help him?_

_Would her father tell her that she was wrong and help her to understand?_

_Would her father or Soo Won looking down or underestimate her like Kan Soo Jin's insults that she only a little girl?_

_Would she still lost everything at that night?_

_Everything except Hak._

_Just 'if' back then, but…_

_Maybe there_ _wa_ _s nothing she could do as a little girl, a naïve sheltered princess who_ _knew_ _nothing about outside world, she knew maybe that thing_ _s_ _would be_ _occurred to others. Just like she wouldn't do anything with her father to looking her father back to her side, because she knew nothing could she did with her father's death and got her father back to life, except protecting what her father had failed to protect, at least better than regretted everything and doing nothing._

_She wonder, would her father proud of her for everything she'd done for her Kingdom?_

* * *

"Hak …", after telling Hak what has been upset her, Yona lifts her face and tells him about her conversation with Soo Won that night. Hak's expression has hardened after she tells him and she bends her crying face down, doesn’t dare to looking straight to his gaze "…I don't believe, my father did that to uncle, because what for he did that? and if it was true, then I should apologize to…".

Yona stops her words as she is pulled into Hak's embrace, gasping as Hak leans down to kiss her wet eyelids before patting her head.

"even if it's true, that couldn't be the reason for him to hurt you?!", Hak hugs her more tightly and furrows his eyebrow "and after what he did to you, how could you think that you should apologize to him? he didn't deserve your mercy at all, princess… you're too kind…".

Before Yona answers him, Hak loosens his embrace and swipes her tears with reassured smile on his face "like I said before, I won't serve a coward King and I believe your father isn't a bad guy… you should believe him as his daughter, princess… beside, if it wasn't you as his children who believe him, then who else?".

Yona digs her fingernails on his back before leaning her face to his shoulder and weeping silently _"forgive me, father… I won't stop my journey even if I must walk above endless bloodshed path… even if you forbid me, I will raise my weapon in order to protect your country and the people I loved"_.

One thing Yona has learned, when she hurt someone, it means she hurt herself too. And it’s hurt. It hurts because she knows it needed sometimes so she can survive and alive.

After her crying has subsided, Yona leans her head to his chest, sniffling as her lips is curved to warm smile "…I could imagine it clearly, if it was you that I chose from the first place, maybe my father would approve it and give his big 'yes'…".

Hak blushes before chuckling. He pinches her cheeks "what about that sudden attempt, huh?".

Yona steals one kiss of his lips quickly, before giglging when she sees how the blushing on his face has deepened "about our relationship, of course".

Both of them laugh heartily after that. Before they go to sleep, Hak asks Yona to sleep first and goes outside.

Outside the tent, Hak crosses his arm, standing tall before the pretty genius boy and four rare beasts that peeking them "…what I said about I won't attack her? so since when did you guys eavesdropping?".

Yun sniffs, waving his arm "sorry, we were worried".

Kija swipes his tears with the handkerchief which is given by Jae Ha. Shina keeps silent even if it’s clear that he’s worried about Yona and Zeno only smiles brightly like always.

"now, now, since we worried that Yona Dear would weep or be attacked by a 'bear', we only stand here and listening properly…".

"who did you call as a bear, huh?", Hak sends his foot to the Green Dragon's face. Hak sighs, can’t believe that he has loosened his self-guard as he’s around Yona to comfort his princess.

Shina taps Hak's shoulder before lowering his head "we didn't know... she felt sad of her father... sorry...".

"needn't to sorry, Shina...", Hak waves his hand, convinces them that they must go to sleep too since Yona wants to get her beauty sleep "and one more time, I won't attack her".

"Hak~ just come inside, please~ let's sleep together~", Yona whines from inside.

Hak grins broadly, he knows there's a time when his princess wants to be spoiled by his affection and this is one of those times, so he comes into the tent quickly "coming, princess~".

Yun sighs before pushing the four rare beasts back to their tent this night "let's hope we won't heard some strange sounds, then".


End file.
